Some Stories We Don’t Usually Share
Recently, I had an unexpected but meaningful conversation at work.
It started with a simple question—"Are you close with your siblings?"—and unfolded into a deeper talk about family, boundaries, and the pressure many of us carry from childhood.
We were three people from completely different backgrounds—Canada, India, and Japan—but found ourselves relating to one another’s stories in surprising ways.
Some of us grew up with complicated relationships with our parents. Some were expected to follow strict career paths, giving up personal dreams along the way. Others shared their hesitation about having children in a world that doesn’t always feel safe or supportive.
Despite our differences in age, culture, and upbringing, the emotional threads were familiar:
Trying to please our parents at the cost of our own desires
Carrying unspoken expectations
Questioning whether we want to repeat those patterns with a family of our own
One person said, “People always say having kids will fix everything. But… will it?”
Another reflected on how many people become parents without having healed themselves first.
It made me think about how deeply society values the idea of family—and how complicated that idea can be.
We often associate family with unconditional love, but for many, it also comes with pain, pressure, or even silence. And that’s okay to admit.
I love my parents. I appreciate what they were able to give.
They did their best with what they had—and I no longer expect more than that.
I don’t need apologies. I don’t need to rewrite the past.
Some people simply didn’t grow up knowing how to love, even themselves.
And I’m not here to fix or teach them.
That day, with two coworkers from entirely different parts of the world, I was reminded how powerful it can be just to sit with others who understand—not because we share the same language or culture, but because we share the same quiet questions.
We didn’t come to any conclusions that day—but we did laugh, and we did feel less alone.
Maybe that’s enough.